Dealing with the Loss of Fallon has been so many things. I have felt a need to ensure her name, her life and her story is not forgotten. I have had a pull that I could not get rid of to create something to keep her memory and the memory of all of the angel friends alive. When I first started talking about my grief and the loss of Fallon so many people started talking about their grief and reaching out to me telling me how what I shared has helped them with their losses from 2, 7, and 14 + years ago. It has helped family and friends communicate with their loved ones who lost someone as well as my family and friends communicate with me about the loss of Fallon. I had no outlet, could not find a counselor so when I spoke and wrote about Fallon it was and still is so raw and unfiltered that people connected with the emotions.
So, with that Fallon's Flight was born. She may have gained her wings, but she is still flying over sending her love to so many people and helping them through grief. She is showing grief is not something to run from or ignore but to address and put on the forefront. Grief and loss are traumatic and those who are no longer here with us deserve for their name and the love that was created for them to carry on.
My name is Erica Clary and I live in Hayden, Idaho. I love the outdoors and being creative. Trying to think of how to describe myself these days is hard as I am not the same person I was at the beginning of 2021, 2022 and now 2023 as I write this. You see, I have been pregnant 8 times in my life and 7 times with my husband, Will, however I have no living children. My last pregnancy was with our daughter Fallon Rowe, she was our 7th, and the first time I had ever made it to the 3rd trimester.
Having fertility issues is hard, miscarrying your baby in any trimester is hard, losing your infant is hard, losing your child is hard. None of these are comparable and hurt all the same. Each of these will change who you are in very different ways, and each will not be the same from person to person. I know I am not the same person I was before we had each our losses, before Fallon and now after Fallon.
Our beautiful daughter, Fallon Rowe Clary, was born March 26, 2022, at 12:36 pm almost exactly 24 hours after my water broke at 35 weeks and 5 days. She was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and had a tough battle ahead of her, but we were ready to take it on. Due to her complex Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) her diagnosis was fatal without surgical intervention. She was closely monitored since the moment we found out about her heart condition at our anatomy scan. She went through open heart surgery at 5 days old on March 31st, 2022, at 7 am. She was a miracle and was doing so well they had started to talk about her getting up on feeding and possibly going home for sometimes until her next surgery. In the early morning of April 4th, 2022, an unknown factor occurred, and Fallon went into cardiac arrest unable to be recover. The doctors tried to revive her for 90 minutes until I said no more, and her heart took her final beat in my arms at 4:30 am.
Still to this day it is unknown what caused her to go into cardiac arrest. The doctors are just as lost as we are as everything was showing her on the recovery with no warning signs of something to come. Our hearts are missing our precious baby every day, she deserves a place on this earth and to be talked about and not a hushed whisper in passing.
*Extended version in Blog Post "Fallon's Flight - A Piece of me"
Coming soon
Coming soon
Fallon's Flight Inc
Hayden, Idaho 83835
Sweet angel I miss you with every breath
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